Jesus wept and so did I

Here we go folks! I’m back in Gainesville, GA after spending the last day and a half in Atlanta for parent launch. Parent launch was such a special time where parents got to come and see first hand what this whole World Race thing is about. I am so glad to have had 3/4 of my awesome parents there. We got in a day early and spent it exploring Olympic Park and downtown Atlanta, really just soaking in our last quality time together for the next SEVERAL months! I am so glad my parents were able to join me, while it did prolong our goodbyes by a couple of days, something even better came from the experience. PEACE. While I have been met with incredible support I think this helped to give my parents a new found peace and confidence in what God may have in store for me over the next 11 months. Man, God is so good and so is the leadership team here at Adventures in Missions. I needed them to have that confidence and peace so that they could remind me of it today. Today was another rollercoaster  of emotions kind of day. I woke up with a peaceful mind and eager heart. Being back with my squad just feeds my spirit and fills my cup, then we had a safety training- all was good, then a team session- fine and dandy… AND THEN…. we had lunch and they made me say good bye to my parents. All was not good, and it was not fine or dandy. We had an hour and a half to eat lunch and say our good byes. We laughed and I cried, A LOT and then we laughed some more and gave lots of really good hugs. Then, we parted ways. The whole rest of the day I rode that rollercoaster and I really don’t think I’m getting off for a little bit. I have decided it’s ok. It’s ok to feel everything all at once. it’s better than only feeling the sad and it’s more real and healing than to only let myself feel the happy. 

As much as saying goodbye to my parents today was hard it was also what it symbolized to me. Today I felt like I was saying goodbye to my old life. We keep hearing how this race will change our lives, and yeah that’s cool and exciting but it’s also something to mourn. I trust that the Lord will guide me and shape me so gracefully on this journey but saying goodbye today felt like a commitment to give up the life I know know in search of a better, more free and peaceful life that the lord has promised. 

Last night I was visiting with a couple of my teammates about our apprehensions and excitement and how it felt so weird to have so many strong conflicting emotions all at once. Here is what one of them said, ”It’s kind of like when Lazarus died and Jesus wept even though he knew Lazarus would rise again.” It is such a beautiful sentiment that we may feel sorrow even while knowing there is something so good about to be known. 

Truly I am excited, so at peace and very eager for the experience we are about to have but for now I am giving my self the grace I need to process in my own time. I am so grateful for these next couple of days in Georgia where we will be getting more logistical field training before leaving for Guatemala on the 12th.